Unhappy Mistress?

It was Willow Fae who gave me the idea for this post.  After reading Her blog and exchanging the odd kind word I checked out a few other blogs.  The main thing I notice is how many times I see 'It's so hard being the Mistress' (Yes it is, mainly).  However this then follows by inference 'It's easy for the sub male).

OK, let me politely shout, no it isn't, not if my submission and loving obedience is genuine.

OK play time is great fun, sometimes painful, but thrilling none the less.
However the large bulk of my time excluding work/family time is making sure I'm keeping my Mistress happy.

Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's rewarding and sometimes it's just plain hard work.   No complaint, just how it is and should be.

My day starts before Hers, my first job is to clean the kitchen, then take Her Coffee/Breakfast, that's everyday, not just when I feel like it or have time, it's everyday.  She comes before me.

I then plan the evening meal if I haven't done this the night before.  This is swiftly followed by me getting luncheon ready to take to the office for us both if Mistress is coming in that day.

I then have the most dangerous job of the day, gentle reawakening Her before I leave for work.

After my days work I return to the chores, cooking the evening meal, doing any jobs required, being available to fetch and carry, make drinks or to put it simply to serve.

Weekends are of course different, I'm then available all the time. I may not be required for long periods of time, but when I am there's no "I was just about" or "OK I'll do it later, your have to wait"

If Mistress wants to spend the day shopping (not my favourite thing) we spend the day shopping, me making an effort to be happy and willing.  If She wants us to garden, guess what we garden.  If She wants to go to a munch, well you get the idea.

I am allowed hobbies and to go to the pub once a week, I choose not to go every week, Mistress believes these are vital for a health relationship, to give us both space and as I've said before to give me some sort of future if the worst happens.


What I think I'm trying to say is that yes it can be hard to be a Mistress because the sub in Her life doesn't want to play Her game, he wants to play his.

If he plays Her game he might find it harder and more tedious than he thought it would.  Personally I find it rewarding, a simple "Thank you boy" goes a long way to making my day.

Of course the prospect of play time is always welcome, but that's the icing not the cake.

Tonight I knelt in the kitchen before her for 30 seconds prior to cooking, She caressed my head and I got on.  That was it, no play, no playful smacks, no leather clad Domme.  Just jobs.

Shortly I shall serve a bedtime drink as She sits in bed, then tidy clothes away, kneel before Her, I get in bed when She is ready, not when I am.

So finally is it hard for my Mistress to be my Mistress, yes it could be, but only because She would allow it to be so.

Fat chance!
m

Tit over arse or is it arse over tit?

As Mistress plunged to the concrete pavement desperately grabbing me as She fell I desperately tried not to fall on Her, my muscles; such as they are; strained and won.  It had to happen right in the middle of Birmingham, England's second city.  We were walking back to the car following our visit to the 'Birmingham Bizarre Bizarre' (Goggle The BBB Birmingham) if you have a mind too.  Mistress up to that point looked wonderful, high high heels, fishnets, black leather skirt, crisp white blouse with Her hair down, wild and so so sexy.  It was of course the heels that did it; combined with an uneven surface.  Fortunately the tumble only resulting in a small cut to Her knee and a few seconds loss of dignity.  As we carried on, me gripping Her like a vice I did something I tend surprisingly not to do and told Her off.  My Mother broke Her hip taking a fall similar to this one, it took the best part of a year for Her to fully recover so you might partially understand my response.  It was of course concern and worry that led me to my forceful out burst and Mistress took it well and did concede that maybe sensible footwear should worn to and from this particular event.

So this leads me to ask do you think it's acceptable for a sub to tell his Mistress off?

The BBB was as usually a well attended affair, it's a chance to meet old friends; brows the stores and possible purchase a 'New Toy!"  As I propped up the wall by the ladies toilets waiting for Mistress to reappear I spied two guys dressed head to toe in rubber, both had serious Wolf or Dog masks on, they looked absolutely brilliant, tails and all.  I'm always staggered and impressed the lengths and costs that people will go to in pursuit of their dreams, needs.

Mistress purchased a nylon cane and a device that attaches to Her Electrical Violent Wand.  I'm not to certain how either will feel like but I suspect at the weekend I will have to find out!

Number One Daughter is close to having our Her baby and we all are a little preoccupied so the blogging has taken a rear seat, as for that matter so have many things.

Has Femdom 101 blog disappeared? Or have I lost the site, perhaps someone could let me know.

Oh Penney I've sent you a mail, please let me know if you don't receive it, thanks.
m

 

What are a Mistresses responsibilities and other musings

It is with some surprise that I find that I have taken so long to update my blog; my two followers must be beside themselves! lol

Christmas seems a long time ago, unfortunately when finally the mistletoe and mince pies vanished my belly had grown and it’s taking rather a long time to retreat.  The diet starts tomorrow, honest.

It was over the Christmas period that I took on a replacement for the poor chap who died last year.  My way of recruiting has never been the normal way, I have found in the past the ridicules convention of having someone come to the Office, sit down for about ½ an hour and answer a lot questions that I can predict the answers too before they attend to be a mind-numbingly stupid way of recruiting.  What do you really learn, they can dress appropriately, have two arms and legs and will tell you their hobbies are reading, Facebook and going to the cinema.  So the guy I took on I met in my local by chance, we were both five sheets to the wind, he knew that I had lost an Engineer, what he did not know was that I was willing to look at someone without the correct training/knowledge.  We burbled away for ten minutes or so before I came to my senses and said we were both too inebriated to have a sensible conversation.  I suggested we met up in a couple of days’ time in the pub for a drink and a chat.  Strangely enough I had had this guy in my mind for about a week before we bumped into each other; I just had had no way of contacting him.  The meeting was relaxed, comfortable and honest.  He doesn’t go on Facebook by the way.  So he has been with me for about three weeks now and I can see he’s going to make it.  Another one converted to the dark side!

Regarding the other dark side, Mistress and I are getting on long with life in that plod plod along way that most couples do.  In our case a little different from much of the planet.  We’ve been to Devotions again, where during a play in a secluded area we were disturbed by some gobby, charmless nerd who tried to hold Mistress in a conversation while She was shall we say busy.

Number One Daughter is now close to giving birth and has finally bloomed, it seems to be clear that She is apparently moving towards being a Mistress to Her partner, the orders and commands to him are clearer and he checks with Her more often.  Also Mistress borrowed Her Tablet the other day and notices that three windows were minimized, all on BDSM, one of which was How to be a better Mistress!  Excellent!

In the blogs I read there seems to be a lot of chatter about BDSM and FLR/FLM.  The view seems to be that in a FLR/FLM there doesn’t have to be any BDSM.  I find that very hard to agree with.  The main point to me in our FLR/FLM relationship is that I submit to my Wife and Mistress.  My submission takes the form of obedience, love and commitment.  Love of course being the most important.

I’m not perfect and I get things wrong, then I expect to be punished, this is one of the most important parts of being a Mistress.  If Mistress cannot punish can She be a real Mistress? 

This doesn’t mean that the punishment has to be physical, although in my case it tends to work.  It can be loss of privileges or Mistress refusing to be Mistress, that really scary for a sub man.  I feel that as a submissive to my Wife; I need, not want, but need Her to discipline me.  I also am now a firm believer in Maintenance Spankings.  They don’t reduce me to tears, well not yet anyway; they do however reinforce the Mistress/slave relationship, binding us closer together.  In regards to the rest of our BDSM life that is I think optional and does not have to exist in a FLM/FLR relationship.  In our case the BDSM side is important.  Take the other day I was put in leg spreaders, pulled over Mistresses lap, hands secured behind my back and spanked, and I mean spanked, I lost count after 500.  I hollered, twisted and ended up begging, by the end of it I was in a complete state of very happy submission.  I was then immediately pulled into bed and pounced upon, take, owned, consumed.  I could go on about the nipple twisting and biting, the hand on my throat, the hair pulling, the look in Her eyes, the power, and of course the mind blowing intensity of it all, I shall try and resist though.  Just typing this sets me off drifting with thoughts of submission and loving devotion.  I’m so lucky.

Sorry if this sounds like I’m bragging, it’s hard not to when you’re so proud of your owner.

I guess the point I am trying to make to any Mistress out there is that a submissive needs to be loved, owned and dominated.  As a man physical domination is important to me.  If you think I am wrong just ask you boy once he has had a couple of drinks.

I fully realize that this is not natural for most Women, although I suspect for the younger generations this may not be as true.  I guess for a Married Lady the thought of hitting your husband must be unsettling, disturbing and goes against all you have held dear.  I can only suggest you think about what it can bring to your relationship, what it can take away and do the maths. Clearly if you cannot bring yourself to physically punish you boy please consider other options, but don’t just ignore the need or your relationship will suffer, if it hasn’t already.  Remember for him it’s a need not a want.  If you were lucky enough to have a boy child who turned out gay, would, could (and yes you should) accept his need.  The problem with FLR/FLM is that I feel so many men have this need and so many Women cannot accept it.  Oh and if you enjoy using a crop or cane etc, embrace it and learn to control your feeling, being a Mistress is all about control for You and your boy.

With control and discipline comes an awful responsibility. I have never thought being a Mistress is easy, You take on a heavy but rewarding role.

On a personnel level I fully accept that in many ways my life would have been easier if I hadn’t been submissive.  As I’ve accepted my need since I was a teen I have found it easier to accept than possibly many.

If this has turned into a rant, sorry.

Moving on, I have been writing a book over the last few weeks, I have now completed chapter 14.  Unfortunately my writing skills i.e. spelling and grammar are poor, due in no small part to the kind old lady teacher who use to draw blood on my left hand with a ruler

when I was a young child. I of course grew up in the era when being left handed was the sign of the devil.  I still literally have the scars.   Anyway Mistress has agreed to give it the once over and I’m going to post the first 5 chapters.  After that I may not post the rest unless at least one person comments and says they want to read more.  No pressure lol.

The book is a Femdom part thriller, part horror romp and to be honest I have never read anything like it, which does not bode well for it.  As they say everyone’s got a book in them, just most of them are tomorrows fire lighters.

Have a great week and remember the whips and chains cannot hurt you; it’s the Woman at the other end if your very lucky.

m