I sing in a local Choir, and from time to time we sing at weddings. It's very interesting singing in a Church during a wedding. I know it's naughty but we play the "How long will they last game".
Looking at the happy; and in some cases not so happy couple you kind of get a feeling for how it might go........ Obviously we tend not to find out, but it's still a good game to play while the service plods on.
Tip for you, try not to go to too many weddings as they can get a little tedious when you've heard the priest come out with the same jokes time after time. Apparently (according to our priest) all Brides look radiant and wonderful, they don't! All Bridegrooms look suitable nervous. That's total Hogwash, some couldn't be nervous as they are totally inebriated and sway back and forth.
We've had one Mother of the Bride; who was pissed, sorry but there just isn't any other nice way to say it, have a full rant and a standup argument during the service. A Best Man who popped out for a fag, oh and not to forget the loving couple who chatted right through the service and ignored the priest.
The congregations can be a pretty rum lot, Woman dolled up, or as my Mother use to call it Mutton dressed as Lamb. Men in Track-suites, Jeans or ill fitting Trousers. No Ties or Jackets. This is meant to be the house of God. One would assume that if you were getting hitched in a house of God you would believe in God and make an effort, but maybe that's just me.
We haven't had the Selfie yet, but I can see it coming, there is a lot of texting that goes on during the service, especially the prayers bit. I guess they think no one will notice as everyone has their heads bowed.
You may be wondering why I'm writing this, it isn't anything to do with BDSM or the way we lead our lives in a FLM........ But this week I sang at a proper wedding, full Church, everyone smartly dressed, Bride; radiant, Bridegroom Sober. You could see the really loved each other and the vows meant something.
It reminded me of the vows we have made each other, the love we have and I would say respect, except tonight I was in the Kitchen and discovered a very long elastic band in my shoe. God alone knows how it got there. I pulled it out and started to play with it. Mistress was also in the Kitchen!
Yes you know what's coming...... I playfully twanged it against Her Rear, not hard and She laughed and said go on do it properly.......... Ok shake your head .......... I did try to do it again but a little harder, it went wrong, She got a full, bite the ceiling; squeal like a pig shot.
So this may be my last post as I'm officially dead, well dead meat anyway.
So thanks for reading, I may post again after the wounds have healed........oh I've just found a ruler in my back pocket, I wonder..............
m
Thursday 31 July 2014
Monday 28 July 2014
Tea for two.
With number 1 daughter back tonight, the evening meal has been a drawn out affair. She is a non meat eater, or mad as I like to call Her.
Fortunately I had cooked a massive, chuck it all in veggie chilli. Basically add anything you fancy, add a few things you don't, use half a small jar of mega hot chilli powder; backed up with 5 chillies, loads of crushed black peppers and simmer for about an hour on a low heat; once brought to the boil.
So add some rice (whole grain of course) and that Her sorted.
Mistress likes Her meat, if you know what i mean! So I also did a Chilli Spaghetti Bolognese, which is basically the same as above with mince thrown in. Oh and I cheated with the Spaghetti and used Rice.
I know I'm sounding like a fraud in the sub department, some may think I should do a full day at work followed by a load of hours in the kitchen. Mistress being kind and sensible won't have that, the weekends are a different matter.
So I ended up giving extended service so to speak. There is a certain satisfaction I gain from efficiently running the kitchen and keeping the Women in my life happy.
Both are now reclining on their Tablets, contented and winding down after their days labour.
I much prefer domestic life; if I could I would stay at home and be a home husband.
The Sarong is on tonight as number one Daughter is here. A girlfriend dropped Her home after work and came in for a couple on minutes, after She went number 1 Daughter said Her friend said I was looking slim. So as you can guess I'm feeling good about myself tonight.
Mistress is not have Her feet rubbed with me naked on my knees while I do it, as number 1 Daughter may not be too impressed with that.
Domestic servitude continues, not the Sex, Crop Spanking PVC, Chain Collar, Ball Breaking adventure, no just the normal things on a slightly different level.
Sweet dreams
m
Fortunately I had cooked a massive, chuck it all in veggie chilli. Basically add anything you fancy, add a few things you don't, use half a small jar of mega hot chilli powder; backed up with 5 chillies, loads of crushed black peppers and simmer for about an hour on a low heat; once brought to the boil.
So add some rice (whole grain of course) and that Her sorted.
Mistress likes Her meat, if you know what i mean! So I also did a Chilli Spaghetti Bolognese, which is basically the same as above with mince thrown in. Oh and I cheated with the Spaghetti and used Rice.
I know I'm sounding like a fraud in the sub department, some may think I should do a full day at work followed by a load of hours in the kitchen. Mistress being kind and sensible won't have that, the weekends are a different matter.
So I ended up giving extended service so to speak. There is a certain satisfaction I gain from efficiently running the kitchen and keeping the Women in my life happy.
Both are now reclining on their Tablets, contented and winding down after their days labour.
I much prefer domestic life; if I could I would stay at home and be a home husband.
The Sarong is on tonight as number one Daughter is here. A girlfriend dropped Her home after work and came in for a couple on minutes, after She went number 1 Daughter said Her friend said I was looking slim. So as you can guess I'm feeling good about myself tonight.
Mistress is not have Her feet rubbed with me naked on my knees while I do it, as number 1 Daughter may not be too impressed with that.
Domestic servitude continues, not the Sex, Crop Spanking PVC, Chain Collar, Ball Breaking adventure, no just the normal things on a slightly different level.
Sweet dreams
m
Sunday 27 July 2014
Are you listening?
I sometimes wonder with all the strife and misery in the world is it fair to ever be truly happy. The Middle East is worse than ever, the Ukraine debacle continues at pace; and I don't even want to mention Africa.
To pretend it's all Man's fault would be a little simplistic; but may be viewed as a reasonable starting point.
This could be the moment where I slavishly preach how wonderful it would be if Woman were in charge, but I won't. Mainly it's because we just don't know. I know there are Matriarchal societies out there, but these are on a small scale and have little or no world influence. Would trading one set of Politicians for another lot make any real difference? You would pray so; but I'm not convinced.
I am; however sold on the idea of a FLM/FLR. On a one to one basis it works well for us; and I am aware it works well for others. We don't argue or fight, home life tends to be happy, stable and calm. In a loving relationship/marriage FLM/FLR style there is little or no conflict, disdain or contempt. One of my friends never has a good word to say about his Wife. If She picks him up from a night out he always put Her down in front of others. You can see quite clearly She is just immune to it. Why he does it I just don't fully understand but I can guess.
Just as a bit of info for you, he does know a little bit about our lifestyle as a close friend I came out to him (I know sounds a bit gay; but I don't know how else to phrase it!) about 12 years ago. Initially he was supportive, but now doesn't want to discuss anything to do with it, he gets very uptight about it. He did once, when very very drunk say he wished She would take charge so he would know what She wanted. Out of the lips of babes and drunks! He does have some fine points though. Honest.
Maybe his problem is he doesn't listen, I've noticed that many men don't appear to listen to their Wife/Partner. In our relationship it is imperative I listen, I want to listen, not listening leads to Mistress disappointed and annoyed. Mistress annoyed is not good. Believe that even if you believe nothing else I write here. By listening I pick up on what's not said as much as what is said. I know when She wants me to hug Her, when She wants my complete submission and to kneel at Her feet.
It makes me happy to serve. I've come to learn that Mistress doesn't always give clear directions/instructions in a way that I would like She gives instructions and directions in the way that suites Her. That is of course absolutely fine and how it should be. I guess it's up to me to listen a little harder and speak a little less.
In our relationship there is love, respect, care and FLM.
Love is the most important of the four, this is what keeps us whole through the dark times.
Respect comes next, without respect for each other, how could we respect ourselves? Respect stops the cheap comment, the crass put down.
Care is the affection we have for each other, the wish to fully support the other and be there for them.
Finally there is for us FLM, Female Led Marriage. You may feel its strange that this is not top of the pile, but I believe many good marriages exist with just the first three.
But a FLM solves so many problems, dissolves the battles before they start, enables disputes or differences to be resolved. Gives discipline and control to both our lives. Mistress uses her powers wisely and carefully, willing to listen to my point of view, but importantly it allows Her to make a decision and for me to accept it. Currently I have been on a local group helping in our community.
Someone, a man, in the group has been rude, unpleasant and threatening to me and others, to the
point I ended up walking away from his verbal abuse before I hit him.
I have resigned from the group as I cannot see how I can benefit my community if I am reluctant to speak out for fear of sparking a reaction which then leads me to react. However there is a sub-committee (no pun intended) which I am on and I have been asked to stay on it. I'm not sure what to do. We have talked about it, Mistress is considering what is best for me. She knows I want to carry on with it, but She will decide in my best interests, not on my wants. I will of course obey Her.
We have had a good weekend (I have penned this missive over a couple of nights) played twice, yes twice although the second was a little impromptu one. Last night we went to friends to have a drink and discuss the problems with this unpleasant oaf. One of them has also come under the verbal abusive; threatening apparition. Apparently this disordered individual has a track record with this behaviour. Personally I would love to see him strung up; naked with Mistress standing behind him; cane in hand. However I suspect Mistress would say that he is not worth Her attention.
The Wine flowed late in to the night; with bread, oils and olives, talk moved on to better subjects, stories were retold and expanded, laughter and mirth became good companions, the Chimera was lit and that rare thing a good evening was had without me having a hangover in the morning.
Today we visited No 1 daughter's boyfriends flat. MMMmmmmm did I ever live like that?
It was a typical rented sleazy Landlords hovel. Walls damp, plaster peeling with the signs that the boyfriend is not to hot on the cleaning. He's a nice chap, is he the one?
So we move closer to the start of the working week, may your week be full and if your lucky enough to serve a Mistress; count your chickens.
Oh we have 5!
m
To pretend it's all Man's fault would be a little simplistic; but may be viewed as a reasonable starting point.
This could be the moment where I slavishly preach how wonderful it would be if Woman were in charge, but I won't. Mainly it's because we just don't know. I know there are Matriarchal societies out there, but these are on a small scale and have little or no world influence. Would trading one set of Politicians for another lot make any real difference? You would pray so; but I'm not convinced.
I am; however sold on the idea of a FLM/FLR. On a one to one basis it works well for us; and I am aware it works well for others. We don't argue or fight, home life tends to be happy, stable and calm. In a loving relationship/marriage FLM/FLR style there is little or no conflict, disdain or contempt. One of my friends never has a good word to say about his Wife. If She picks him up from a night out he always put Her down in front of others. You can see quite clearly She is just immune to it. Why he does it I just don't fully understand but I can guess.
Just as a bit of info for you, he does know a little bit about our lifestyle as a close friend I came out to him (I know sounds a bit gay; but I don't know how else to phrase it!) about 12 years ago. Initially he was supportive, but now doesn't want to discuss anything to do with it, he gets very uptight about it. He did once, when very very drunk say he wished She would take charge so he would know what She wanted. Out of the lips of babes and drunks! He does have some fine points though. Honest.
Maybe his problem is he doesn't listen, I've noticed that many men don't appear to listen to their Wife/Partner. In our relationship it is imperative I listen, I want to listen, not listening leads to Mistress disappointed and annoyed. Mistress annoyed is not good. Believe that even if you believe nothing else I write here. By listening I pick up on what's not said as much as what is said. I know when She wants me to hug Her, when She wants my complete submission and to kneel at Her feet.
It makes me happy to serve. I've come to learn that Mistress doesn't always give clear directions/instructions in a way that I would like She gives instructions and directions in the way that suites Her. That is of course absolutely fine and how it should be. I guess it's up to me to listen a little harder and speak a little less.
In our relationship there is love, respect, care and FLM.
Love is the most important of the four, this is what keeps us whole through the dark times.
Respect comes next, without respect for each other, how could we respect ourselves? Respect stops the cheap comment, the crass put down.
Care is the affection we have for each other, the wish to fully support the other and be there for them.
Finally there is for us FLM, Female Led Marriage. You may feel its strange that this is not top of the pile, but I believe many good marriages exist with just the first three.
But a FLM solves so many problems, dissolves the battles before they start, enables disputes or differences to be resolved. Gives discipline and control to both our lives. Mistress uses her powers wisely and carefully, willing to listen to my point of view, but importantly it allows Her to make a decision and for me to accept it. Currently I have been on a local group helping in our community.
Someone, a man, in the group has been rude, unpleasant and threatening to me and others, to the
point I ended up walking away from his verbal abuse before I hit him.
I have resigned from the group as I cannot see how I can benefit my community if I am reluctant to speak out for fear of sparking a reaction which then leads me to react. However there is a sub-committee (no pun intended) which I am on and I have been asked to stay on it. I'm not sure what to do. We have talked about it, Mistress is considering what is best for me. She knows I want to carry on with it, but She will decide in my best interests, not on my wants. I will of course obey Her.
We have had a good weekend (I have penned this missive over a couple of nights) played twice, yes twice although the second was a little impromptu one. Last night we went to friends to have a drink and discuss the problems with this unpleasant oaf. One of them has also come under the verbal abusive; threatening apparition. Apparently this disordered individual has a track record with this behaviour. Personally I would love to see him strung up; naked with Mistress standing behind him; cane in hand. However I suspect Mistress would say that he is not worth Her attention.
The Wine flowed late in to the night; with bread, oils and olives, talk moved on to better subjects, stories were retold and expanded, laughter and mirth became good companions, the Chimera was lit and that rare thing a good evening was had without me having a hangover in the morning.
Today we visited No 1 daughter's boyfriends flat. MMMmmmmm did I ever live like that?
It was a typical rented sleazy Landlords hovel. Walls damp, plaster peeling with the signs that the boyfriend is not to hot on the cleaning. He's a nice chap, is he the one?
So we move closer to the start of the working week, may your week be full and if your lucky enough to serve a Mistress; count your chickens.
Oh we have 5!
m
Sunday 20 July 2014
Punishment?
The Bats are out tonight, flinging themselves around in a maddening twisting dance at the speed of a Jitterbug. We are just watching TV; like so many normal couples do. Normally I'm naked as we are in. However I'm in a thong and sarong, just a practise as number 1 daughter is coming to stay for a few days.
As we have not had anyone stay over for quite a while I need to ensure I act in a way that does not upset or distress Her. Calling Mistress, Mistress would lead to problems. Normally when we have visitors I will call Her by Her first name or answer "Yes my love". I will get away with the sarong, but the feet kissing will have to go on hold!
It is a constant bugbear of mine that we have to remain hidden. Maybe one day.
I've been reading other blogs "femdom 101" and "I'm, hers" are my favourite. Unlike many forums, these blogs appear to be written by real people, of course; with the internet they are possible fakes, but I don't think so. They both have something to say, something to give. Of course I could be a fake also, you will just have to make your own mind up.
I'm not saying other people are fakes, but some do not seem to have a real understanding of FLR/FLM. I realise the BDSM is subjective and everyone see's it slightly differently.but there do seem to be a lot of Keyboard Warriors out there claiming to live a 24/7 365 life. After reading some postings I know that certain boasts just cannot be true. Others claim they do not punish. It must be great to have the perfect sub/slave!
So I'm left with the thought, is the sub/slave not punished because:-
1. It's just a game (which is fine if both parties agree to it at the start).
2. The sub/slave is perfect.
3. The Domme cannot be bothered or doesn't believe in it.
Number 1 is fine, it may be just a game so why not?
Number 2 is impossible , I know hard to believe in my case, but...........
Number 3 is the one that really worries me, if the Domme expects the sub to be perfect She will be very disappointed. If She thinks that just pointing out the error and expecting all to be we'll is naive. And a little lazy. Some Dommes claim, and possible do dismiss their subs if they cannot behave. Obviously if the sub is a right nightmare they should go, and the sub should really sit down and think about what they are truly seeking.
My view is that I should obey and always think of Mistress first, I do most of the time, but I'm human and sometimes things just go wrong even although I try very hard to get it right.
As we have not had anyone stay over for quite a while I need to ensure I act in a way that does not upset or distress Her. Calling Mistress, Mistress would lead to problems. Normally when we have visitors I will call Her by Her first name or answer "Yes my love". I will get away with the sarong, but the feet kissing will have to go on hold!
It is a constant bugbear of mine that we have to remain hidden. Maybe one day.
I've been reading other blogs "femdom 101" and "I'm, hers" are my favourite. Unlike many forums, these blogs appear to be written by real people, of course; with the internet they are possible fakes, but I don't think so. They both have something to say, something to give. Of course I could be a fake also, you will just have to make your own mind up.
I'm not saying other people are fakes, but some do not seem to have a real understanding of FLR/FLM. I realise the BDSM is subjective and everyone see's it slightly differently.but there do seem to be a lot of Keyboard Warriors out there claiming to live a 24/7 365 life. After reading some postings I know that certain boasts just cannot be true. Others claim they do not punish. It must be great to have the perfect sub/slave!
So I'm left with the thought, is the sub/slave not punished because:-
1. It's just a game (which is fine if both parties agree to it at the start).
2. The sub/slave is perfect.
3. The Domme cannot be bothered or doesn't believe in it.
Number 1 is fine, it may be just a game so why not?
Number 2 is impossible , I know hard to believe in my case, but...........
Number 3 is the one that really worries me, if the Domme expects the sub to be perfect She will be very disappointed. If She thinks that just pointing out the error and expecting all to be we'll is naive. And a little lazy. Some Dommes claim, and possible do dismiss their subs if they cannot behave. Obviously if the sub is a right nightmare they should go, and the sub should really sit down and think about what they are truly seeking.
My view is that I should obey and always think of Mistress first, I do most of the time, but I'm human and sometimes things just go wrong even although I try very hard to get it right.
Currently on a board I go on there is a question on "do you punish your sub and if so how". Mistress has a punishment book, apart from one unfortunate incident where I got 60 yes 60! I've only had 13 strokes in the past 4 months. Not all at the same time, normally just 1 or 2 at a time. There normally for silly things, the punishments are not designed as play, they are there to enforce the message that I've either not complied with an instruction or done something stupid that ended up with me hurting myself. To give you an example Mistress wanted something moved. It was not particularly heavy just large and awkward to move, I was told to wait until Mistress could help me move it. Me being as helpful as ever thought that I could save Her the trouble so attempted to shift it on my own. In the end I had dented the paint work and bashed my foot. To say She was not best pleased was an understatement. I got a right telling off; followed by 2 strokes. Although the strokes hurt, they were quickly over but with me the message was brought home "I love you. Don't do that again". I haven't!
My point is that in a long term FLM/FLR there has to be a way of Mistress reinforcing Her message to me, and bringing closure to a problem, beating me senseless every-time I muck up just cannot work, I have to know I'm forgiven and the punishment brings closure. As the punishment is recorded in Her book; along with the offence, if I transgress in the same way again I know I'm in going to disappoint Her. I don't play the lets get punished game, it would just annoy Her and not work. I love Her far to much to disrespect Her.
So if you are a Domme I would strongly recommend you sort out in your own mind what punishments you will dish out, and for what transgressions. Your sub will thank and respect you more, it shows you take your side of the relationship seriously, and that you are taking them seriously, not just taking them for a ride. Most subs who are committed to a full on relationship accept that they will never be perfect, part of their submission is accepting discipline. That is accept it, not seek it.
Some blogs extol the virtu of Maintenance Spankings; we've not done this, but I can see the benefits. A good spanking always makes me very submissive to mistress.
I guess if your not in a 24/7 FLR/FLM and you only spend a few days or less together you don't tend to run into this problem. When married having a way to resolve issues is very important.
Oh, your probably wondering about the sixty!. It was a couple of weeks ago, we were watching TV, Mistress wanted our evening meal at 6. The program on was really good and despite being reminded twice I chose to watch until the program ended and then went off to the Kitchen to cook. Mistress got to eat at about 7. I had been selfish and paid the price. Food service is back on track, message received and very painfully understood. Mistress is happy and I love Her.
So the main point is discipline works even after 10 years and don't let anybody tell you differently.
m
Sunday 13 July 2014
Bum!
The week has flown by, normal jobs, normal service and submission.
No play means no release. As I am not only a submissive man but also a masochist; well to a certain level anyway. Not being allowed to have release and no play certainly causes a build up of tension, not resentment but definitely frustration. Saturday night I struggled to sleep; I knew we were going to play today. I also knew it was going to be "Bum Fun". Mistress loves this type of play.
Sorry to disappoint but I'm not going to give a detailed account today of the session, that's between us, I am however going to write about how I prepared for today's play.
As I have said before, it's important for me to know if Mistress wants to "Have me". She is sensible to my needs and instructed me earlier in the week to be ready for Sunday! So Saturday I cut down the fiberish food and didn't pig out. Alcohol was a no no; common sense has to be applied.
About an hour before we start I have various jobs to do. I get the assortment of butt plugs and dildos out and reclean them; they were of course cleaned before being put away. Both they and the surface they will rest on are sprayed and disinfected, I tend to feel you can never be to careful if something is going to be inserted!
Next I put out Surgical Gloves and Mistresses Collar (it goes round my neck if you were wondering) along with Cuffs, a cover for the Bed; Lube; plus anything else Mistress has indicated. I also get out a Play Case of kit. Just in case, if you can excuse the pun. It's safer for me........not having an item available when Mistress is in full "Play Mode" can piss Her off; not the best idea when I'm strung up.
Then comes the not so nice bit, Douche time. Again everything including any surfaces that anything will rest on are meticulously sprayed and cleaned. I normally listen to the BBC I-player; choosing something that helps take my mind of the task in hand, the Archers being a favourite. The Douch cleans any remnants of poo out. Mistress understandable doesn't appreciate seeing my poo when She's having me. I have to use it 3 or 4 times before the water runs clear. I then need 1/2 an hour or so quite time before I shower. I have to wait for this length of time just in case not all the water has come out.
While showering I concentrate on what is to come, although I submit to my Mistress; play heightens my submission and love for Her. Just before play I'm tingling and nervous, on; what I would call Heat. Mistress says She can smell the fear on me. Afterwards I'm uncoiled, relaxed, exhausted and so very very subbie.
We both fell asleep after play finished, having played for about 2 hours, some of which had been hard on me; NO; I'm not complaining, I just want you to understand that the fantasy of endless hours of play is not in our case achievable or desirable. It is very tiring, draining and yet at the same time fulfilling, wonderful, special.
Of course life returns, I had a 1000 and 1 Butt Plugs to clean ok slight exaggeration there were 6. I find the kitchen the best place to do this. Prior to play I ensure the kitchen is clean and everything is put away. This then leaves the kitchen available to use. All the implements are cleaned and left out to air dry. We haven't been caught yet, I have visions of someone popping round; going into the kitchen and then!
We've had a quite evening, I cooked a roast and we settled down, content, warm, snug.
Tomorrow I will have to be a fraud, mr businessman, but tonight I can be me, my Mistresses slave, sub, husband and friend.
Funny how society can accept the fraud but not the real me.
May your week be full.
m
No play means no release. As I am not only a submissive man but also a masochist; well to a certain level anyway. Not being allowed to have release and no play certainly causes a build up of tension, not resentment but definitely frustration. Saturday night I struggled to sleep; I knew we were going to play today. I also knew it was going to be "Bum Fun". Mistress loves this type of play.
Sorry to disappoint but I'm not going to give a detailed account today of the session, that's between us, I am however going to write about how I prepared for today's play.
As I have said before, it's important for me to know if Mistress wants to "Have me". She is sensible to my needs and instructed me earlier in the week to be ready for Sunday! So Saturday I cut down the fiberish food and didn't pig out. Alcohol was a no no; common sense has to be applied.
About an hour before we start I have various jobs to do. I get the assortment of butt plugs and dildos out and reclean them; they were of course cleaned before being put away. Both they and the surface they will rest on are sprayed and disinfected, I tend to feel you can never be to careful if something is going to be inserted!
Next I put out Surgical Gloves and Mistresses Collar (it goes round my neck if you were wondering) along with Cuffs, a cover for the Bed; Lube; plus anything else Mistress has indicated. I also get out a Play Case of kit. Just in case, if you can excuse the pun. It's safer for me........not having an item available when Mistress is in full "Play Mode" can piss Her off; not the best idea when I'm strung up.
Then comes the not so nice bit, Douche time. Again everything including any surfaces that anything will rest on are meticulously sprayed and cleaned. I normally listen to the BBC I-player; choosing something that helps take my mind of the task in hand, the Archers being a favourite. The Douch cleans any remnants of poo out. Mistress understandable doesn't appreciate seeing my poo when She's having me. I have to use it 3 or 4 times before the water runs clear. I then need 1/2 an hour or so quite time before I shower. I have to wait for this length of time just in case not all the water has come out.
While showering I concentrate on what is to come, although I submit to my Mistress; play heightens my submission and love for Her. Just before play I'm tingling and nervous, on; what I would call Heat. Mistress says She can smell the fear on me. Afterwards I'm uncoiled, relaxed, exhausted and so very very subbie.
We both fell asleep after play finished, having played for about 2 hours, some of which had been hard on me; NO; I'm not complaining, I just want you to understand that the fantasy of endless hours of play is not in our case achievable or desirable. It is very tiring, draining and yet at the same time fulfilling, wonderful, special.
Of course life returns, I had a 1000 and 1 Butt Plugs to clean ok slight exaggeration there were 6. I find the kitchen the best place to do this. Prior to play I ensure the kitchen is clean and everything is put away. This then leaves the kitchen available to use. All the implements are cleaned and left out to air dry. We haven't been caught yet, I have visions of someone popping round; going into the kitchen and then!
We've had a quite evening, I cooked a roast and we settled down, content, warm, snug.
Tomorrow I will have to be a fraud, mr businessman, but tonight I can be me, my Mistresses slave, sub, husband and friend.
Funny how society can accept the fraud but not the real me.
May your week be full.
m
Thursday 10 July 2014
Morning service
My life in someways is the same as many people. The work life balance always a tricky thing to equalise.
Of course being a sub tends to make it harder, more jobs; less free time.
Normally I'm woken at 7 by the alarm, I listen for rain, the pater pater tells me that we are getting wet. That's me and the dog. Doggy is getting a little long in the tooth (he spurns his basket for one of the three double beds or a sofa) if it's raining he either won't get up and just looks at me as though I'm simple or he goes to the door; pokes his nose out and then runs back to bed. If we are both going to be out for a few hours I have to cajole and half carry him out. Once we are on our way the tail goes up and he's happy. If I can not get him out he seems to be content just to doze. I admire his bladder control!
On our return, assuming the mutt has played ball, I have a set of jobs that Mistress expects done before I leave for work. I take pride in doing them, assured that She will be happy and contented when She rises.
Dishwasher emptied, refilled, Kitchen cleaned (normally just the work surfaces) anything left out from last night put away. It's one of the things that really bugs Her, an untidy Kitchen. Mutts breakfast readied (somehow or other doggy has wormed his way into first place; with Mistress second; and me a poor third) followed by putting together Her breakfast and then take it in to Her (I'm naked of course). I kneel at the side of the bed and rest the bowl and cup on the bedside cabinet. Gently stroking Her arm or back I softly say "Good Morning Mistress". She smiles, but rarely opens Her eyes. I kiss Her with a little peck on Her lips and move to the wardrobe and put away clothes that will be worn again, the rest go to laundry, after I've checked the pockets. Once I am satisfied all is right I disappear and get showered etc before returning to the Kitchen to make a lunch to take with me, and one for Her if She is coming into the office that day.
Moving back into the bedroom I quietly point out Her coffee is getting cold, this either gets a response such as "no it's still hot" or She sits up. If She sits up I move to Her side to place a couple of pillows behind Her. She then has breakfast and talks to me about the day, what's to be done,what we need etc. Mistress likes to use an electronic diary, which we both share via our phones, She can update it over the day, knowing I will see any changes. She likes to plan "play time". (This is important because if She wants to do some Strapon Play I need to think about what I'm going to eat or drink that day; and the day before). While She talks I sometimes kneel and we hold hands, other times I have to dress while we talk as i am running late. Either way at some point I have to go to work when dressed, so I kneel once more, we kiss and I'm off.
Weekends are different, but that's for another day.
After reading this blog you might think, we'll i do most of what he does and I'm no slave. Of course you would be right, many men walk the dog first thing, some also take their spouse breakfast once in a while, few I suspect do it every day.
The main difference is that not only do I want to do it, I have to do it, there is no choice! Not doing it would upset the Woman I love and serve, plus of course Mistress has a fair to good memory and a punishment book!
m
Of course being a sub tends to make it harder, more jobs; less free time.
Normally I'm woken at 7 by the alarm, I listen for rain, the pater pater tells me that we are getting wet. That's me and the dog. Doggy is getting a little long in the tooth (he spurns his basket for one of the three double beds or a sofa) if it's raining he either won't get up and just looks at me as though I'm simple or he goes to the door; pokes his nose out and then runs back to bed. If we are both going to be out for a few hours I have to cajole and half carry him out. Once we are on our way the tail goes up and he's happy. If I can not get him out he seems to be content just to doze. I admire his bladder control!
On our return, assuming the mutt has played ball, I have a set of jobs that Mistress expects done before I leave for work. I take pride in doing them, assured that She will be happy and contented when She rises.
Dishwasher emptied, refilled, Kitchen cleaned (normally just the work surfaces) anything left out from last night put away. It's one of the things that really bugs Her, an untidy Kitchen. Mutts breakfast readied (somehow or other doggy has wormed his way into first place; with Mistress second; and me a poor third) followed by putting together Her breakfast and then take it in to Her (I'm naked of course). I kneel at the side of the bed and rest the bowl and cup on the bedside cabinet. Gently stroking Her arm or back I softly say "Good Morning Mistress". She smiles, but rarely opens Her eyes. I kiss Her with a little peck on Her lips and move to the wardrobe and put away clothes that will be worn again, the rest go to laundry, after I've checked the pockets. Once I am satisfied all is right I disappear and get showered etc before returning to the Kitchen to make a lunch to take with me, and one for Her if She is coming into the office that day.
Moving back into the bedroom I quietly point out Her coffee is getting cold, this either gets a response such as "no it's still hot" or She sits up. If She sits up I move to Her side to place a couple of pillows behind Her. She then has breakfast and talks to me about the day, what's to be done,what we need etc. Mistress likes to use an electronic diary, which we both share via our phones, She can update it over the day, knowing I will see any changes. She likes to plan "play time". (This is important because if She wants to do some Strapon Play I need to think about what I'm going to eat or drink that day; and the day before). While She talks I sometimes kneel and we hold hands, other times I have to dress while we talk as i am running late. Either way at some point I have to go to work when dressed, so I kneel once more, we kiss and I'm off.
Weekends are different, but that's for another day.
After reading this blog you might think, we'll i do most of what he does and I'm no slave. Of course you would be right, many men walk the dog first thing, some also take their spouse breakfast once in a while, few I suspect do it every day.
The main difference is that not only do I want to do it, I have to do it, there is no choice! Not doing it would upset the Woman I love and serve, plus of course Mistress has a fair to good memory and a punishment book!
m
Monday 7 July 2014
Monday pee
Like most people i know, Monday's are not the best days in my life. Just getting over the weekend, you know that time for fun and play!. Monday's are all about work and drudge.
However this Monday has been slightly better than usual. This evening Mistress went out with a girl friend and I was required to tag along. You know, Drive, Open Doors, Pull Chairs, Get Drinks etc, no problem I enjoy all this stuff, Her friend is OK, She doesn't really know what we are into; but She enjoys the attention.
I like Her a lot, She is down to earth and has a deep dirty laugh that is infectious.
Unfortunately they chose to go to a Carvery. Just in case you are not from a Country that has this special, mouthwatering, guess what it is mush, i will try and describe how it works.
1. You put out a load of cheap, poorly cooked food in a row on a bar. Some meat, some vegetables and other things (not always sure what they are, they look vaguely familiar) Yorkshire Puddings and Stuffing Balls possibly. Funny how they both taste the same.
2. Then you bombard the "food" with light and heat for a few hours.
3. You then allow Children and Adults (also Children) to queue up and pile as much as they can on the slightly grubby smaller than normal plates. Some of the Children/Adults like to use their hands. Some of the Children/Adults have just had a pee.Yes you've guessed correctly some did not wash their hands. I know; unbelievable.
4. Then its your turn, MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
The food is the taste and consistency of Cardboard, Baby Food and Solidified Fat/Oil.
So a quality venue, this was not, but cheap, so very popular.
Anyway i got the drinks, Mistress wanted a G & T, there was no tonic available (honest) so She had to have a Bitter Lemon with the Gin instead. Her friend wanted a J2o, yes hard to believe, no J2o's, well it was Monday i suppose, so She went for a different soft drink. I had the Diet Coke, fairly safe with that.
We then queued up and piled our plates high. I don't ever go for the Roast Potatoes, hard oily objects; guarantied to disappoint.
After settling the Ladies i relaxed and tried to enjoy the meal, the benefit of there being only two Ladies present is that to some extent i can switch off while they talk, i like most men have the useful ability to be able to let Women chat and gossip with the skill of nodding and grunting in agreement at the right times.
This allows me to do one of my favourite pass times when i have a few minutes "people watching"
Its interesting watching other people, there was a family out with Grandpa. The Mother was a little overweight, tall, a blond with heels that were too high for her. She walked with a stoop to compensate, this forced her to be hunched, the hunch remained even when sitting so she consumed her food looking down at her plate, occasionally looking up with effort so to join in with the conversation.
The men seemed to do most of the talking, there were three children, two girls and a teenage boy who looked sullen and bored. The two girls were texting and both seemed more interested in their phones than the food.
To my right was a Son and Mother, the Son was clearly taking the Mother out for a meal, they arrived after us, but left long before we had finished eating. Guess that's his duty over for a bit. In fact i'm not sure either enjoyed the outing. Possibly both do it out of a sense of duty to each other. I understand that, we have all a sense of duties and responsibilities to others. They didn't seem to talk much.
Funny how all the Staff were foreign, polite and friendly, the Chef called Mistress Sweetie!
So after some bland very hot coffee we left.
The price was low, the quality lower and the possibility that i was not the only one tasting pee priceless!
m
.
However this Monday has been slightly better than usual. This evening Mistress went out with a girl friend and I was required to tag along. You know, Drive, Open Doors, Pull Chairs, Get Drinks etc, no problem I enjoy all this stuff, Her friend is OK, She doesn't really know what we are into; but She enjoys the attention.
I like Her a lot, She is down to earth and has a deep dirty laugh that is infectious.
Unfortunately they chose to go to a Carvery. Just in case you are not from a Country that has this special, mouthwatering, guess what it is mush, i will try and describe how it works.
1. You put out a load of cheap, poorly cooked food in a row on a bar. Some meat, some vegetables and other things (not always sure what they are, they look vaguely familiar) Yorkshire Puddings and Stuffing Balls possibly. Funny how they both taste the same.
2. Then you bombard the "food" with light and heat for a few hours.
3. You then allow Children and Adults (also Children) to queue up and pile as much as they can on the slightly grubby smaller than normal plates. Some of the Children/Adults like to use their hands. Some of the Children/Adults have just had a pee.Yes you've guessed correctly some did not wash their hands. I know; unbelievable.
4. Then its your turn, MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
The food is the taste and consistency of Cardboard, Baby Food and Solidified Fat/Oil.
So a quality venue, this was not, but cheap, so very popular.
Anyway i got the drinks, Mistress wanted a G & T, there was no tonic available (honest) so She had to have a Bitter Lemon with the Gin instead. Her friend wanted a J2o, yes hard to believe, no J2o's, well it was Monday i suppose, so She went for a different soft drink. I had the Diet Coke, fairly safe with that.
We then queued up and piled our plates high. I don't ever go for the Roast Potatoes, hard oily objects; guarantied to disappoint.
After settling the Ladies i relaxed and tried to enjoy the meal, the benefit of there being only two Ladies present is that to some extent i can switch off while they talk, i like most men have the useful ability to be able to let Women chat and gossip with the skill of nodding and grunting in agreement at the right times.
This allows me to do one of my favourite pass times when i have a few minutes "people watching"
Its interesting watching other people, there was a family out with Grandpa. The Mother was a little overweight, tall, a blond with heels that were too high for her. She walked with a stoop to compensate, this forced her to be hunched, the hunch remained even when sitting so she consumed her food looking down at her plate, occasionally looking up with effort so to join in with the conversation.
The men seemed to do most of the talking, there were three children, two girls and a teenage boy who looked sullen and bored. The two girls were texting and both seemed more interested in their phones than the food.
To my right was a Son and Mother, the Son was clearly taking the Mother out for a meal, they arrived after us, but left long before we had finished eating. Guess that's his duty over for a bit. In fact i'm not sure either enjoyed the outing. Possibly both do it out of a sense of duty to each other. I understand that, we have all a sense of duties and responsibilities to others. They didn't seem to talk much.
Funny how all the Staff were foreign, polite and friendly, the Chef called Mistress Sweetie!
So after some bland very hot coffee we left.
The price was low, the quality lower and the possibility that i was not the only one tasting pee priceless!
m
.
Sunday 6 July 2014
So you want to be a sub?
I also post on a fetish site, normally I won't be cross posting too often; but the guy I'm replying to came out with the normal question that I have heard many times, basically he asked "how can I find a Dominant Mistress, I want a long term relationship, I want to be forced to do things"
My reply was...........
Hi,
I have read your post a few times over as it seems to me that you contradict yourself,
your English is better than my French and I think I do understand the gist of your question/statement.
your English is better than my French and I think I do understand the gist of your question/statement.
I live in a Female Led Marriage, we have been together for about 12 years; and married for just over 10.
So to answer the main point, as others have already said it is possible, but you will have to either get very lucky or make a major effort in finding that special one.
Most Dominant Ladies I know don't want a doormat, equally they don't want to spend all their time and energy in forcing a sub to do what they want them too. my Mistress sometimes pushes my limits but for the main and certainly in regards to non-play activities She expects me just to get on with it, with limited checking and supervision.
Please consider that in a FLR/M 99%of time is not play! it's real life. The same as most relationship I would guess. In any good relationship the partners would be happiest in each other's company, but every couple needs time away from each other, this makes the time together more precious and important. We all need our own space and interests.
Just as a side point Mistress insists I have outside interests and friends, her view is if She were to die She would want me to survive and look after the children, Having external friends and interests would help.
Sorry for digressing, I wish you well in your search, please be sure you are willing to truly give up control, if you find the right Lady She shouldn't have to force you to do the domestic jobs, you should want to. Punishment a failure on you part, unlike play not fun and not what you think, try imagine having a week when She won't let you do the chores, forcing you to sit and observe Her doing them instead. A quick beating can work and does with me as I'm not good with the cane. One of my sub friends has an iron arse so in his case the other option works better. Actually both work for me.
There is nothing wrong with wants and desires, expressing these to you Domme is hard but if thought about before asking and raising the subject in the right way at the right time, can be beneficialto both.
I have yet to meet a Domme with a crystal ball, although I suspect Mistress has one in Her handbag!
I have yet to meet a Domme with a crystal ball, although I suspect Mistress has one in Her handbag!
m
Saturday 5 July 2014
Us, just us.
I seem to be getting to learn how to use this blog, so i guess its time for me to tell you alittle about us.
I'm in my 50's, I've been lucky enough to be married to my fantastic Mistress/Wife for over 10 years, we live a FLM/FLR, thats Female Led Marriage and Female Led Relationship. So that of course makes me Her slave/husband. The order of slave/husband changes with events and circumstances; but part of Her is always Mistress.
We initially met at a Munch, thats normally a meeting in a Pub or Public Place where people who are into BDSM meet up for a drink and to socialize. After i had plucked up enough courage to go over, the rest as they say is history.
I now live with a Woman who loves me and is willing and wants to Dominate me. This may seem weird to you, why would anyone want to be controlled, owned?
I have thought about this very often in my life, the answer i have finally come up with is, it must be in my DNA.
If i was gay everyone i know would say I was born that way and its ok. With BDSM its not yet acceptable to be open in public so we have to hide our true selves from the world.
I have chores and rules to follow, and yes She does punish if i don't please Her. But i want and need to please Her, its not often i get punished.
We have at times been in the public scene of BDSM, attending events, there are clubs you can go to if you're into the scene. We did for a time attend various events and then left it all behind for about 5 years. However we have recently started coming back out into the scene. At least we can be honest about ourselves there.
Mistress does not tend to strut around in PVC and Leather at home, or for that matter anywhere else, she wears normal clothes at home, i don't get to wear anything, She prefers it that way. There is a normally a dressing gown kept near the front door. my Mother must think i spend my life in bed!
Most of the time, apart from the clothes thing you would not think we were different from any other couple in their house. We laugh, joke, take in the TV, Soaps etc. Oh i run my own business and employ people so i'm no shrinking violet. At home i do most of the cooking, but not all, if i'm working late i come home to a cooked meal. She maybe my Mistress but She is also my Wife, both sides of Her love and care for me.
I wanted to do these blogs so that maybe people not into our way of life may at least have an insight into a different way of life.
Its not the whips and chains that hurt you, its the person at the other end of them!
m
I'm in my 50's, I've been lucky enough to be married to my fantastic Mistress/Wife for over 10 years, we live a FLM/FLR, thats Female Led Marriage and Female Led Relationship. So that of course makes me Her slave/husband. The order of slave/husband changes with events and circumstances; but part of Her is always Mistress.
We initially met at a Munch, thats normally a meeting in a Pub or Public Place where people who are into BDSM meet up for a drink and to socialize. After i had plucked up enough courage to go over, the rest as they say is history.
I now live with a Woman who loves me and is willing and wants to Dominate me. This may seem weird to you, why would anyone want to be controlled, owned?
I have thought about this very often in my life, the answer i have finally come up with is, it must be in my DNA.
If i was gay everyone i know would say I was born that way and its ok. With BDSM its not yet acceptable to be open in public so we have to hide our true selves from the world.
I have chores and rules to follow, and yes She does punish if i don't please Her. But i want and need to please Her, its not often i get punished.
We have at times been in the public scene of BDSM, attending events, there are clubs you can go to if you're into the scene. We did for a time attend various events and then left it all behind for about 5 years. However we have recently started coming back out into the scene. At least we can be honest about ourselves there.
Mistress does not tend to strut around in PVC and Leather at home, or for that matter anywhere else, she wears normal clothes at home, i don't get to wear anything, She prefers it that way. There is a normally a dressing gown kept near the front door. my Mother must think i spend my life in bed!
Most of the time, apart from the clothes thing you would not think we were different from any other couple in their house. We laugh, joke, take in the TV, Soaps etc. Oh i run my own business and employ people so i'm no shrinking violet. At home i do most of the cooking, but not all, if i'm working late i come home to a cooked meal. She maybe my Mistress but She is also my Wife, both sides of Her love and care for me.
I wanted to do these blogs so that maybe people not into our way of life may at least have an insight into a different way of life.
Its not the whips and chains that hurt you, its the person at the other end of them!
m
Candle or Spoon
Mistress and I were in our local a few nights ago. A couple of vanilla friends were in and joined us. One of them is a lovely lady who I shall call J. J hasn't had the best time with men. Her relationships have in the past failed for one reason or another. She is however a good laugh and is positively turning her life around. Having lost a lot of weight over the last 2 years there is a get up and go about her which I hope can only lead to a happier life.
However she does not drink very often, but that night she had a couple, 50 Shades of grey came up in the conversation, my ears pricked up; I knew there could be a bit of fun to be had. I looked at her and asked "30 shades of what?".
She almost fell of her chair, then forcefully told me "it's 50 not 30". I explained that I had never read the book, only to be told its books now. J went into great raptures to tell us all about it, Mistress never slow to pick up joined in and for the next hour we gently prodded and poked J by asking slightly thick questions about it. J enjoyed explaining about sensual play using candle wax and ice. I wasn't the only one biting my lip.
I asked if you put the ice on a part of your body first would you then feel the wax, also didn't it make a mess and what about the health and safety implications, did you need a fire extinguisher close by.
This of course made her more desperate for us to understand, she became quite vocal in her explanations of wax play.
It was my turn to got to the bar, I returned with drinks for all; but a coffee for me. Trying to appear supportive I said I would give it ago. Dipping the spoon in the hot coffee I then placed it on the back of my hand, Mistress then helped out by applying the ice!
I pointed out this just seemed to make a mess but wasn't very sensual. Poor old J was by then twisting and turning in indignation that we just didn't understand and we're getting it all wrong. Everyone else of course helpless with laughing and the baiting continued for a little while longer.
Mistress enjoyed the evening, I had had great fun but I know Mistress is better than I at fire and ice, maybe I will provide the fire extinguish next time?
As for J if you ever read this you will understand all, the old penny will have dropped well and truly. Sorry but you did leave the door ajar, and anyone in to BDSM will tell you that if you leave the door open to a sub they will always try and slip by!
m
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