The Bats are out tonight, flinging themselves around in a maddening twisting dance at the speed of a Jitterbug. We are just watching TV; like so many normal couples do. Normally I'm naked as we are in. However I'm in a thong and sarong, just a practise as number 1 daughter is coming to stay for a few days.
As we have not had anyone stay over for quite a while I need to ensure I act in a way that does not upset or distress Her. Calling Mistress, Mistress would lead to problems. Normally when we have visitors I will call Her by Her first name or answer "Yes my love". I will get away with the sarong, but the feet kissing will have to go on hold!
It is a constant bugbear of mine that we have to remain hidden. Maybe one day.
I've been reading other blogs "femdom 101" and "I'm, hers" are my favourite. Unlike many forums, these blogs appear to be written by real people, of course; with the internet they are possible fakes, but I don't think so. They both have something to say, something to give. Of course I could be a fake also, you will just have to make your own mind up.
I'm not saying other people are fakes, but some do not seem to have a real understanding of FLR/FLM. I realise the BDSM is subjective and everyone see's it slightly differently.but there do seem to be a lot of Keyboard Warriors out there claiming to live a 24/7 365 life. After reading some postings I know that certain boasts just cannot be true. Others claim they do not punish. It must be great to have the perfect sub/slave!
So I'm left with the thought, is the sub/slave not punished because:-
1. It's just a game (which is fine if both parties agree to it at the start).
2. The sub/slave is perfect.
3. The Domme cannot be bothered or doesn't believe in it.
Number 1 is fine, it may be just a game so why not?
Number 2 is impossible , I know hard to believe in my case, but...........
Number 3 is the one that really worries me, if the Domme expects the sub to be perfect She will be very disappointed. If She thinks that just pointing out the error and expecting all to be we'll is naive. And a little lazy. Some Dommes claim, and possible do dismiss their subs if they cannot behave. Obviously if the sub is a right nightmare they should go, and the sub should really sit down and think about what they are truly seeking.
My view is that I should obey and always think of Mistress first, I do most of the time, but I'm human and sometimes things just go wrong even although I try very hard to get it right.
As we have not had anyone stay over for quite a while I need to ensure I act in a way that does not upset or distress Her. Calling Mistress, Mistress would lead to problems. Normally when we have visitors I will call Her by Her first name or answer "Yes my love". I will get away with the sarong, but the feet kissing will have to go on hold!
It is a constant bugbear of mine that we have to remain hidden. Maybe one day.
I've been reading other blogs "femdom 101" and "I'm, hers" are my favourite. Unlike many forums, these blogs appear to be written by real people, of course; with the internet they are possible fakes, but I don't think so. They both have something to say, something to give. Of course I could be a fake also, you will just have to make your own mind up.
I'm not saying other people are fakes, but some do not seem to have a real understanding of FLR/FLM. I realise the BDSM is subjective and everyone see's it slightly differently.but there do seem to be a lot of Keyboard Warriors out there claiming to live a 24/7 365 life. After reading some postings I know that certain boasts just cannot be true. Others claim they do not punish. It must be great to have the perfect sub/slave!
So I'm left with the thought, is the sub/slave not punished because:-
1. It's just a game (which is fine if both parties agree to it at the start).
2. The sub/slave is perfect.
3. The Domme cannot be bothered or doesn't believe in it.
Number 1 is fine, it may be just a game so why not?
Number 2 is impossible , I know hard to believe in my case, but...........
Number 3 is the one that really worries me, if the Domme expects the sub to be perfect She will be very disappointed. If She thinks that just pointing out the error and expecting all to be we'll is naive. And a little lazy. Some Dommes claim, and possible do dismiss their subs if they cannot behave. Obviously if the sub is a right nightmare they should go, and the sub should really sit down and think about what they are truly seeking.
My view is that I should obey and always think of Mistress first, I do most of the time, but I'm human and sometimes things just go wrong even although I try very hard to get it right.
Currently on a board I go on there is a question on "do you punish your sub and if so how". Mistress has a punishment book, apart from one unfortunate incident where I got 60 yes 60! I've only had 13 strokes in the past 4 months. Not all at the same time, normally just 1 or 2 at a time. There normally for silly things, the punishments are not designed as play, they are there to enforce the message that I've either not complied with an instruction or done something stupid that ended up with me hurting myself. To give you an example Mistress wanted something moved. It was not particularly heavy just large and awkward to move, I was told to wait until Mistress could help me move it. Me being as helpful as ever thought that I could save Her the trouble so attempted to shift it on my own. In the end I had dented the paint work and bashed my foot. To say She was not best pleased was an understatement. I got a right telling off; followed by 2 strokes. Although the strokes hurt, they were quickly over but with me the message was brought home "I love you. Don't do that again". I haven't!
My point is that in a long term FLM/FLR there has to be a way of Mistress reinforcing Her message to me, and bringing closure to a problem, beating me senseless every-time I muck up just cannot work, I have to know I'm forgiven and the punishment brings closure. As the punishment is recorded in Her book; along with the offence, if I transgress in the same way again I know I'm in going to disappoint Her. I don't play the lets get punished game, it would just annoy Her and not work. I love Her far to much to disrespect Her.
So if you are a Domme I would strongly recommend you sort out in your own mind what punishments you will dish out, and for what transgressions. Your sub will thank and respect you more, it shows you take your side of the relationship seriously, and that you are taking them seriously, not just taking them for a ride. Most subs who are committed to a full on relationship accept that they will never be perfect, part of their submission is accepting discipline. That is accept it, not seek it.
Some blogs extol the virtu of Maintenance Spankings; we've not done this, but I can see the benefits. A good spanking always makes me very submissive to mistress.
I guess if your not in a 24/7 FLR/FLM and you only spend a few days or less together you don't tend to run into this problem. When married having a way to resolve issues is very important.
Oh, your probably wondering about the sixty!. It was a couple of weeks ago, we were watching TV, Mistress wanted our evening meal at 6. The program on was really good and despite being reminded twice I chose to watch until the program ended and then went off to the Kitchen to cook. Mistress got to eat at about 7. I had been selfish and paid the price. Food service is back on track, message received and very painfully understood. Mistress is happy and I love Her.
So the main point is discipline works even after 10 years and don't let anybody tell you differently.
m
