Weddings and Bands

I sing in a local Choir, and from time to time we sing at weddings.  It's very interesting singing in a Church during a wedding.  I know it's naughty but we play the "How long will they last game".

Looking at the happy; and in some cases not so happy couple you kind of get a feeling for how it might go........  Obviously we tend not to find out, but it's still a good game to play while the service plods on.

Tip for you, try not to go to too many weddings as they can get a little tedious when you've heard the priest come out with the same jokes time after time.  Apparently (according to our priest) all Brides look radiant and wonderful, they don't!  All Bridegrooms look suitable nervous.  That's total Hogwash, some couldn't be nervous as they are totally inebriated and sway back and forth.

We've had one Mother of the Bride; who was pissed, sorry but there just isn't any other nice way to say it, have a full rant and a standup argument during the service.  A Best Man who popped out for a fag, oh and not to forget the loving couple who chatted right through the service and ignored the priest.

The congregations can be a pretty rum lot, Woman dolled up, or as my Mother use to call it Mutton dressed as Lamb.  Men in Track-suites, Jeans or ill fitting Trousers.  No Ties or Jackets.  This is meant to be the house of God.   One would assume that if you were getting hitched in a house of God you would believe in God and make an effort, but maybe that's just me.

We haven't had the Selfie yet, but I can see it coming, there is a lot of texting that goes on during the service, especially the prayers bit.  I guess they think no one will notice as everyone has their heads bowed.

You may be wondering why I'm writing this, it isn't anything to do with BDSM or the way we lead our lives in a FLM........  But this week I sang at a proper wedding, full Church, everyone smartly dressed, Bride; radiant, Bridegroom Sober.  You could see the really loved each other and the vows meant something.

It reminded me of the vows we have made each other, the love we have and I would say respect, except tonight I was in the Kitchen and discovered a very long elastic band  in my shoe.  God alone knows how it got there.  I pulled it out and started to play with it.  Mistress was also in the Kitchen!

Yes you know what's coming...... I playfully twanged it against Her Rear, not hard and She laughed and said go on do it properly.......... Ok shake your head ..........  I did try to do it again but a little harder, it went wrong, She got a full, bite the ceiling; squeal like a pig shot.

So this may be my last post as I'm officially dead, well dead meat anyway.

So thanks for reading, I may post again after the wounds have healed........oh I've just found a ruler in my back pocket, I wonder..............
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