So you want to be a sub?

I also post on a fetish site, normally I won't be cross posting too often; but  the guy I'm replying to came out with the normal question that I have heard many times, basically he asked "how can I find a Dominant Mistress, I want a long term relationship, I want to be forced to do things"

My reply was...........

Hi,

I have read your post a few times over as it seems to me that you contradict yourself,
your English is better than my French and I think I do understand the gist of your question/statement.

I live in a Female Led Marriage, we have been together for about 12 years; and married for just over 10.

So to answer the main point, as others have already said it is possible, but you will have to either get very lucky or make a major effort in finding that special one.

Most Dominant Ladies I know don't want a doormat, equally they don't want to spend all their time and energy in forcing a sub to do what they want them too. my Mistress sometimes pushes my limits but for the main and certainly in regards to non-play activities She expects me just to get on with it, with limited checking and supervision.

Please consider that in a FLR/M 99%of time is not play! it's real life. The same as most relationship I would guess. In any good relationship the partners would be happiest in each other's company, but every couple needs time away from each other, this makes the time together more precious and important. We all need our own space and interests.

Just as a side point Mistress insists I have outside interests and friends, her view is if She were to die She would want me to survive and look after the children, Having external friends and interests would help.

Sorry for digressing, I wish you well in your search, please be sure you are willing to truly give up control, if you find the right Lady She shouldn't have to force you to do the domestic jobs, you should want to. Punishment a failure on you part, unlike play not fun and not what you think, try imagine having a week when She won't let you do the chores, forcing you to sit and observe Her doing them instead. A quick beating can work and does with me as I'm not good with the cane. One of my sub friends has an iron arse so in his case the other option works better. Actually both work for me.

There is nothing wrong with wants and desires, expressing these to you Domme is hard but if thought about before asking and raising the subject in the right way at the right time, can be beneficialto both.
I have yet to meet a Domme with a crystal ball, although I suspect Mistress has one in Her handbag!

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